Alice's POV In Twilight...Should Be Interesting

In her fan fiction, Luniere, author Sideadde writes about the events in Twilight and Midnight Sun from the perspective of Alice. This is a story that should be fascinating. Unfortunately, it's not.

While Sideadde is a talented writer, Luniere is draining. Alice constantly has visions of the future, including of Forks' newcomer Bella Swan. She agonizes over Edward speaking to Bella, over him leaving, and basically everything else that Edward thinks and does. The whole idea is drawn out far too much. She neglects Jasper and keeps secrets from him about Edward, coming to a point where Jasper admits jealousy of the relationship Alice has with Edward. While not intended, the author makes Alice and Edward's relationship a little uncomfortable for the reader, they appear almost more than brother and sister. Her constant visions also interrupt the flow, making it complicate the story, as we catch glimpses of things far far in the future.

At 20 chapters, the story appears to be not even half finished if the author intends to write the whole original story from Alice's perspective (note: Twilight was 24 chapters). Sideadde is very articulate, and has great potential to write a great story. But the language in Luniere is at times too flowery (at one point Jasper says: "Do you think it's wise, to leave him here, on a day where the blood of his obsession will perfume the halls?") and too drawn out overall (the first day it snows in Forks takes up six chapters). The idea of the story is terrific and the writer is talented, but Luniere fails to truly deliver.

Rated: PG-13

2 Gold Apples out of 5